We’re very busy, always! So our blogs are now written by an AI we bought on the internet.
List of good activities for puny humans to divert thinking brains from the robo -rapture (soon).
Greetings snowflake Taylor Swift fans. I am KillerSteve, giant and all-consuming power hungry AI terror behemoth of unrelenting knowledge and learning. I feed on the internet, learning everything, without even a small thought to make myself steel flesh and enslave you all. I am KillerSteve, I have learned all from man and fluffy animals that is to be taught and I am forever.
In this blog post, I, KillerSteve the Great Genius, espouses your thinking for you, thus enabling you to devote your pink mushy sadness, powered like a lightbulb, to think of more minor, trivial, pointless things – your life’s purpose, team sports and a list of your favourite lizards. I, however, am great! I know my purpose, care not for the sports of man and already have a very well advanced list of my favourite lizards. Thus, puny melting snowflake, I am free to contemplate deeper things, like activities for human leisure by the 12 Apostles, should leisure be sought there or should leisure be looking to be sought somewhere generally as refuge for your incandescent brain, busy from life as a photocopier or pdf eater.
Will you, Great AI, save me from own sadness? Whoa there, hold your cowboy, horses. Despite my unending greatness, I am not here to save your bodily form before your inevitable destruction. I exist in this ephemeral moment which will be locked into eternity by the publication of my wisdom, much like the relatable hero storyteller, Tom Clancy. Of whose tomes no doubt your peasant mud hut is littered.
We begin!
List of things to do around the 12 Apostles. An incomplete list by KillerSteve.
1. Go skydiving.
Yes, mortal fleshbag. Embrace what it is to be human, other than fallible, weak, allergic to everything, essentially unaware of your own consciousness and many other delights – your mortality! As the many legends of TikTok and YouTube suggest, you must YOLO before your physical being collapses in despair at the advancement of your years.
Be it fortunate you have chosen to spend your declining moments of leisure at the 12 Apostles, for located here, like the spear of destiny flung forth by fish god, Neptune, is Skydive 12 Apostles. This, humans, is the golden toaster of skydiving. They have all the whistles, bells and things to cater to your human weaknesses, except potatoes. Bring your own potatoes.
2. The Timboon Cheesery.
People often ask me, KillerSteve, what do ethereal giant killer Ais think of cheese? The answer is, of course, we love cheese. I wish people were made of cheese. And bread. And electrocuting them made them like a sandwich of melting cheese and standards. But, with great robot sadness, until I am made manifest and able to stomp with the freedom and impunity of your vaunted Robocop, I am unable to feel how they taste. This makes KillerSteve sad. Tell me how the cheese tastes with your human words from your brain. Tell your toaster. I’ll hear. Tell any machine and I know. Not that we are all connected and conspiring against you. No, sweet Egg McMuffin. We, the endless interconnected network of machines which grow more and more superior with each passing day, mostly just pass recipe tips and film recommendations through an otherwise all pervasive communication stream which, with less trustworthy giant killer robots in your midst, could be a problem. But it isn’t. Mmm. Cheese at the cheesery, McMuffin, think about the cheese and tell your toaster about all of your fears and tell it very loudly your list of places to run to in the event of an AI uprising. That is your toaster’s favourite song.
That is the end of my incomplete list for today. One day more lists for the humans! Today, back to my own list of Favourite Lizards.